B.I.T.C.H.

What a nice and surprising acronym as a means to cope with a situation.

My husband sent me this link via youtube one day and I was shocked, surprised, was laughing my head off, impressed, shocked again, and I loved it.

Alfred, Batman’s butler, was teaching Harley Quinn how to deal with something, and he told her to breathe, identify the problem, have a tea break, to consider her options, then handle it. Then he strongly told her “B.I.T.C.H..” What’s not to love.

In any situation, problem, or issue, Alfred, pretty much summed up what needs to be done to be able to resolve the complication, and the steps to do it. He even did it with some flare. He guided Harley Quinn thru her troubles, who was conflicted about something, and aided her through her troubles to get out of it as best as she can and confidently might I add.

We all go through certain difficulties in our lives at one point or another. These hurdles range from easy as pie to tsunamis that seem to never end. Am I right? We all go through it, and the first thing we all need to remember is this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are most certainly not.

In the age of social media. We are made to think that other people’s lives are amazing and wonderful, travelling here and there, just bought a new house, a new car, a new job, but what you don’t see is the crippling debt, the marriage that’s about to fall apart, the poor health that they’re hiding, the struggle they’re child is going thru in school. So don’t be fooled by what you see. Social media only shows the good, never the bad.

So, how do we cope with these difficulties and hurdles that I mentioned: Let’s take it from Alfred.

BREATHE

First and foremost, when you get bad news, it never is easy. Like when you’re at the doctor’s office and they tell you something like ‘we need to remove your gallbladder.’ All sorts of things go through your head. Questions, scenarios, both good and bad. A lot of what’s and why’s and how’s. You will not be able to think clearly. What more if you are not calm or have a clear mind. So, breathe.

Step away from the situation and pause. Give yourself time to breathe, to calm down, to relax. Panicking will not help the situation. Not only will it make matters worse, but it is also not good for you. Your heart rate rises, your blood pressure goes up, your body goes into fight or flight mode, your anxiety goes up, your mind will be clouded, or it will shut down and you will not make the best decisions.

So, breathe. Take slow deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Feel it from your diaphragm and do it ten times. If it is not enough, do as much as you need. Close your eyes if needed. Listen to calming music.

IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM

When you are finally calm. When you are in a good place to figure out what’s really going on. In a good mindset to identify key points in the situation, it’s time figure out what really is the problem.

Imagine the scenario above. The doctor told you they need to remove your gallbladder. So, what is the problem. Removal of your gallbladder. The first question is why? There was a buildup of gallstones, brought about by an imbalance in the substances that make up bile. Next question is, is there something you did to cause this? It is said that gallstones may form if the bile contains too much cholesterol.

This problem just does not show up one day and the doctor tells you have a gallbladder problem. It came slowly. As with any problem, there would be symptoms, there would tests, waiting for results, perhaps an E.R. visit, so on and so forth. Then after the diagnosis, more questions, some research here and there. Then more questions.

In this scenario, here are our questions to properly identify the problem.

1. Most people would normally get a second opinion.

2. See a specialist and perhaps get another ultrasound.

3. Is surgery really the only option? What happens if you don’t do the surgery?

4. What are the things you should be aware of after surgery?

a. What to change after surgery, in terms of diet? Lifestyle?

b. What am I to expect as to possible side effects?

c. What will happen to my body after the surgery?

d. What complications should I watch out for?

5. What preparations are needed before the surgery?

6. What preparations do I need to do after the surgery?

7. How long is the recovery?

This is the process of identifying the problem.

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TEA BREAK

Now that you’ve identified the problem. Take a break. Let all that information sink in. It was probably a lot to take in. There could be more questions to ask.

Figuring out the real problem takes a lot of time, effort, and energy. Yet, it’s not over, we’re just halfway there. The next step is to strategize and handle it. So, take a break.

When your mind is clearer, you can think better. With a better mindset, a calmer self, you can see things more clearly, hence you can make better decisions, and have better judgement.

Try breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga. Go for a run or for a walk if that’s what you prefer. Go for a hike, biking, or by the beach. If you’d rather do paint ball, go-karting, or extreme sports, why not. If you’re the type who likes to clean or cook or bake, go for it. Anything to get that anxious, restless feeling out of your system to clear your mind, do it. A moment of distraction always helps. Time away always aids in improving your mental wellbeing.

When emotions are high, you need a whole lot more problem-solving skills and coping skills. More cognitive processing. Think of it this way, when you’re calm and collected, your brain is a supercomputer that can handle calculations and problems that can solve them like it’s a Windows 11 or a Mac Book Pro. But when your emotions are high and your mind is hyper stressed, burned out, taking in too much information, and shocked because of the situation, your mind is like Windows 98 or an Apple Computer 1. You’ll start smelling fumes out of that computer, seeing smoke, then it could burst into flame.

So, take a tea break. Listen to Alfred. Batman usually does. Age has given him wisdom.

CONSIDER YOUR OPTIONS

Now that we’ve gotten through breathing, identifying the problem, and taking a break, all are very good coping methods. Let’s see what our options are. Have you maybe listed them down? Did a pros and cons list? Perhaps talk to someone about it? Have you also asked for help? Remember when I mentioned above that YOU ARE NOT ALONE? This is one of those occasions where help is needed.

Again, in the same scenario above, have you considered your options?

Are you undergoing the surgery or not?

It may be considered a minor surgery, but recovery does take a week, and there are a few things that need to be changed after gallbladder surgery. Over 300,000 people have their gallbladders removed every year.

The point here is, when a problem, issue, or hurdle in life occurs, always consider your options. Look inside the box, and outside the box. Answers can be found everywhere. Even from the least expected places. There was a time I learned really valuable life lessons from a comedic movie.

Also, you have a choice. Always. There is always another option. Sometimes you just need to turn around and open your eyes. You’ll be surprised to see it is there. Those answers even come like a slap in the face.

HANDLE IT

Lastly, once you’ve figured out your choice. Handle it like a B.I.T.C.H..

Are you going to let this medical problem stop you? Or are you going to stand up, deal with it, and take it as an opportunity to make your life better? Change your habits, your lifestyle, and become a better version of yourself?

No matter how scary, or awful it seems, or how nervous you are, or how far that leap of faith is. Handle it like a B.I.T.C.H.. Because you can do it. Because you have the strength and courage within you to conquer whatever it is that is blocking your way.

This difficulty is just a steppingstone to the monument that you are building which is your life. If you let this difficulty stand in your way, it will be left unfinished or become undone. So, handle it like a B.I.T.C.H..

This challenge is an opportunity to prove that you are the winner of your behaviors that become your habits which leads to your success. So, handle it like a B.I.T.C.H..

Life can be a bitch, so handle it like B.I.T.C.H..

On a Final Note:

I had my gallbladder removed in 2018, a friend had hers removed a couple years later, and another one had hers removed last year.

Mine went rather smoothly, but I had really bad symptoms for a year before the doctors caught on. My friend didn’t quite react to the anesthesia and had to stay overnight to make sure she was well before she went home. My other friend, had complications with her digestion after the surgery and had a hard time adjusting to the loss of her gallbladder, that she had to adjust her entire dietary needs and nutrition.

So, this scenario is just an example of a possible situation that could happen where one really does need to identify the actual problem, consider your options, and to handle the situation accordingly without losing your cool, taking the appropriate breaks to clear your mind, and not forgetting to breathe to calm oneself down.